/ Rollin' blunts and smokin' Jay: Damn. Jay and Silent Bob spend their royalty money locating everyone who expressed negative opinions on the internet about the movie and their characters, including children and clergy, and travel to assault them. Justice: Wes? Velma: With Bud Cort, Barret Hackney, Jared Pfennigwerth, Kitao Sakurai. These are just SOME of the reasons this movie is bad. Stealin' the little monkey. And then she goes and sucks two other guys' dicks off instead. Here's your coffee sir. Lonely. Jules Asner: Didn't we used to ride that shit to school every morning for free? Banky: Deleted Scenes with Intros There are 42 deleted scenes on offer here. We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. So it occurs to me that people badmouthing you on some website is NONE OF MY FUCKING CONCERN! It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another. The loose plotting and crude language may be too much for others though. The filmmaker, who has been telling stories with the characters of Jay and Silent Bob since 1994's Clerks, used the latest movie -- his first one in the shared universe of Clerks, Mallrats,. Don't tell me your thinking of whipping your dick at that fine piece of woman, are you? Hey, stop stealing monkeys. Right. Assistant Director(GWH 2): Well, how do you know he doesn't smoke monkey pole? Angel Jay: Jay: In this world gone mad, we won't spank the monkey. The other thieves arrive and a climactic final battle ensues. [to Silent Bob] Yeah, but then they made "She's All That" and it went downhill from there. Banky: Bobby Boy, stay here while mommy picks up the free cheese, kay? Hey look, I'm sorry I dragged you away from whatever-gay-serial-killers-who-ride-horses-and-like-to-play-golf-touchy-feely-picture you're supposed to be doing this week. No the clit is real. Yeah, and forego the hundreds of thousands of dollars you would be entitled to in the process. [getting into the van] Picture Fear not, for the beauty of the ageing central two dudes is there for all to see in a clear transfer of this movie to disc. That's it boy, put the dick down. Gag Reel - 8+ minutes. This place licks balls compared to the Quick Stop. Jay: Randal Graves: Dante Hicks and Randal Graves (Clerks) put a restraining order on Jay and Silent Bob, finally fed up with their drug dealing antics outside the Quick Stop and RST Video after the duo tell a pair of teenagers that Dante and Randal were married in a Star Wars themed wedding. Well, why don't you executive produce me a latte - De-Crackernated. Well, um, let me just talk to the other girls and get back to you. What's the worst fuckin' thing that can fuckin' happen to ya just standing outside a fuckin' store, right? Are we gonna have a problem again? I'm just a Federal Wildlife Marshall. Originally intended to be the last film set in the Askewniverse, or to feature Jay and Silent Bob, Strike Back features many characters from the previous Askew films, some in dual roles and/or reprising roles from the previous four entries. [21][22] A Blu-ray version of the film was released on September 19, 2006. Jay: What am I, blind? Hooker #1: Fred: There's a script for this movie? Jay: The View Askewniverse is a fictional universe created by writer/director Kevin Smith, featured in several films, comics and a television series; it is named for Smith's production company, View Askew Productions.The characters Jay and Silent Bob appear in almost all the View Askewniverse media, and characters from one story often reappear or are referred to in others. I thought they only did classy pictures, like "The Piano" and "The Crying Game". Affleck, you the bomb in "Phantoms", yo! Oh Jesus, again Ben? Yeah, sis. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back With sidesplitting dialogue and rampant profanity, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back reunites Kevin Smith's dynamic duo in supreme lowbrow style. Assistant Director(GWH 2): [staring up at the Bluntman and Chronic marquee] Walt "Fanboy" Grover: Jay: The C.L.I.T. I mean youse guys, I'd do anything for youse guys, 'cause for the lift and shit. Whillenholly: See? Director Kevin Smith Writer Kevin Smith (characters) Stars Jason Mewes Kevin Smith Ben Affleck See production, box office & company info Watch on Prime Video I'm counting on you, Sheriff. Girls like that kinda shit. Remember: Don't pull your dick out 'till she asks, or until she's sleeping. No, but it's Miramax. Two reasons. Jay: I pinch it like this. There's nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus. Chaka: Whillenholly: And she's like, "Oh, I've read on the Internet that fuckin' youse guys are a couple of little fuckin' jerkoffs." Jay: This guy'll suck your dick. Four brothers of Jesus are named in the Bible: James, Joseph, Judas, and Simon. Maybe it's some kind of supermonkey. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one and the only thing I see right now is a political fiasco that I'm about to avoid by letting this buttfuckin' Brady Bunch go! You see! Contrary to what you believe, not everyone in Hollywood is a homosexual. Opening text: For some reason, everybody decides to use that voice to bitch about movies. Jay: As nasty as you want to be, papi. I need you to get me on the national news, pronto. THE SIGN on the back of the car said "Critters Of HOLLYWOOD", YOU DUMB FUCK! Filming began on January 14, 2001, and ended on April 19, 2001. On review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes the film has an approval rating of 52% based on 151 reviews, with an average rating of 5.60/10. [cut to Jay outside, hollering at a woman walking past him]. But when the dopey duo learn that theyve been cut out of the cash, they set out to sabotage the flick at all costs. Jesus, you're not even trying anymore are you? They've got a monkey in there? It may be a laugh-free wasteland for the rest of us, but Jay and Silent Bob scavengers will find some meagre scraps to forage for if they have several hours to spare. Jay : What the fuck is the Internet? Who'd pay to see that? Say, what's all this talk about farting? Steve-Dave Pulasti: Fanedit Running Time: 128. Echo Base: Who's watching these babies? I thought that was a 10-82. So? Chaka: Chaka: And she smells SO fuckin' pretty. You know, Lunchbox she could be the one. Passerby: In a Deleted Scene: Oh, that's it, honey! Hardcore fans may glean something from the rest of the material on this DVD release, but there's no getting away from the fact that this is lazy, mediocre content to dish-up. And I'll be, like, "What, you don't know fuckin' Jay and Silent Bob? Man, who the fuck steals monkeys? Pull of their masks and let's see who they really are! Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back on Pluto TV | Comedy | 1hr 44 min | The comic "Bluntman and Chronic" is adapted for the big-screen by Hollywood without the permission of the real-life stoner icons of CLERKS Jay and Silent Bob. Ben Affleck: However, Catholic tradition insists that these four (and some sisters also mentioned in the text) were cousins of Jesus and not siblings, thus maintaining the Perpetual Virginity of Mary. Go to hell! Jay: That was an incredibly daring escape! It focuses on the two eponymous characters, played respectively by Jason Mewes and Smith. After that, I want to smell your titties for a while, and you can pull my nutsack up over my dick so it looks like a bullfrog. All right, gang, let's just shoot some tear gas into the diner, and then when the guys come out with the monkey, we'll Fuckbeans. Will you fuck me when you get out? No little perv-bullshit's gonna work for this one. Show some respect. And I'm, like, "Jay and Silent Bob." Just say it already. The officers find footage of a video Sissy recorded of Jay claiming to be "the clit commander", with accompanying literature that "Clit" is an acronym for Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerant Tree-Dwellers. Missy: Free shipping for many products! I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? Jay: These shots include: (1) Jay and Bob in a plane, (2) the two drinking beers (at the appropriate moment of "Jay's Rap") on the set of "Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season", (3) Jay and Bob outside a parking lot, (4) an alternate take of Jay miming sucking a breast in "Brodie's Comic Stash", (5) Jay smoking a cigarette during the "E.T. OOH you little fuck. film studio name : Dimension. Must piss you off to see a black man runnin' a big old production like this, huh? This job just passed the point of no return! Mr. Smith may have hit his target, but he aimed very low. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back Occupations Animal liberators (cover) Jewel thieves (in actuality) Powers/Skills Thievery Sabotage Incrimination Seduction and temptation Highly athletic and acrobatic Hobbies Setting up gullible men for pantsies for their criminal activities. [at Brodie's Secret Stash] Miramax Security Guard Gordon: Hmm, I don't know. You mean that fuckin' movie with Mork from Ork in it? Jay: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) Hollywood had it coming. Jay: If I go to prison will you wait for me? Holden: Saw Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back a few months ago, absolutely great movie. This store sure does suck ass, doesn't it? Shallow Hal: Behind the scenes shots of various crew members are shown. We gotta bust up some people who were calling us names on the internet, even thought they're not really talking about us but characters based on us, and at the same time find my ex-girlfriend-who-was-killed-by-a-car-explosion's monkey. The site's critical consensus reads, "Fans can expect a good laugh as the cast from Smith's previous films reunite for Jay and Silent Bob's last bow. I didn't think so. Hooker #1: He said he'd fuck a sheep! Jay: [Bluntman and Cock-Knocker are fighting with bongsabers]. I always thought the phrase, "I laughed until I cried," was just an oxymoron. It was just a diversion so we could steal these. Jay: James Van Der Beek: Is this the final movie set in 'The Askewniverse'? Before they were rebooted in 2019, Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith's Jay and Silent Bob set off on their own adventure in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Love- Jay and Silent Bob. [regarding the Bluntman and Chronic movie], Randal Graves: That's what the Internet's for, slandering others anonymously! "-influenced bike scene, (6) Bob stepping out of a room with a goofy grin on his face while Jay tokes up, and finally ends with (7) a hilarious blooper where Jay offers Suzanne the orangutan a hit off a joint. [Jay looks at Silent Bob with a questioning look. . Jay: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, / Mother, mother fuck, / Mother, mother fuck, fuck / Mother fuck, mother fuck, / Noise noise noise, / 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, / Noise, noise noise / Smokin' weed, smokin' wizz, / Doin' coke, drinkin' beers, / Drinkin' beers, beers, beers, / Rollin' fattys, smokin' blunts, / Who smokes the blunts? Fuck! Jason Biggs: Published Apr 18, 2020 Jay and Silent Bob Reboot's outtakes reveal a hilarious running joke that doubles as a commentary on society's attitude toward Hollywood. Jay: [15], Roger Ebert gave the film 3 out of 4 stars, writing that "[w]hether you will like 'Jay and Silent Bob' depends on who you are Kevin Smith's movies are either made specifically for you, or specifically not made for you". Jay: Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who is makin' the movie we're gonna make them eat our shit, then shit out our shit, and then eat their shit that's made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Think I could get a little blow job for good luck? [over Gordon's walkie talkie] Filming began on January 14, 2001, and ended on April 19, 2001. Now who's stupid, you dirty sheep fucker? No, you the man, and that's the problem. You'll do it, or you're out of the gang, Justice. The only mystery here is why we take our cues from a dick in a neckerchief! The fuckin' mack daddys of fuckin' Jersey?" Banky: This is a site populated by militant movie buffs: sad, pathetic little bastards living in their parents' basement downloading scripts and what they think is inside information about movies and actors they claim to despise yet can't stop discussing. Leave 'em out here like that and see what happens. Don't change the subject. Shaggy: Holden: James Van Der Beek: Terms and Conditions Privacy Policy California Privacy Rights. Regardless of what you may have heard, I do not kiss guys. Chaka: I take it you haven't seen Forces of Nature? They bored us rigid on "The Animal" DVD, and now they're coming to finish us off with their deadly dull take on "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back". [to Teen #2] Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is a film. The Internet has given everybody in America a voice. Jay: Sissy: Christ, Ben, I said I'm busy. Shannen Doherty: I wish they were hitchhiking girls- sexy hitchhiking girls. What? The label in the animal testing lab under the dart gun implores you to "brake" glass. Not allowed within 100 feet of either stores for at least a year, Jay and Silent Bob visit Brodie Bruce (Mallrats) where they learn that that Miramax Films is adapting Bluntman and Chronic, the comic book based on their likenesses. Yeah, you do that. Man, what the fuck are you waiting for? Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back: Many Deleted Scenes, Bloopers, and Special Mentions throughout the credits. If today is Tuesday and the movie starts filming on Friday, we have Holden: See production, box office & company info, Kevin Smith delivers the goods in a great finale. This revised second edition provides an introduction to the phonetics and phonology of English. The scenes deemed particularly offensive included Jay's vehement refusal of giving oral sex to a male driver when hitchhiking, and Jay chastising Silent Bob for being willing to perform fellatio on him to get the security guard to let them go. Watch What Roles Was Ben Affleck Considered For? I was gonna call it "N.W.P." Angel slaps Jay with his harp]. [Jay and Silent Bob have eluded capture by pretending to be lovers and disguising the ape as their son]. Until it happened to me. Teen #2: Looks like somebody shit in their cereal Bong. The comic "Bluntman and Chronic" is based on real-life stoners Jay and Silent Bob, so when they get no profit from a big-screen adaptation, they set out to wreck the movie. James Van Der Beek: He's got a great sense of humor. Ben Affleck: Chrissy: You're doubling me, obviously. And I don't think that they're hitchhiking girls either. The title and logo for Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back are direct references to The Empire Strikes Back. Be Don Juan de la Nooch. I told you that restraining order was a good idea. Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: The white man stole it. Whillenholly: Remember this fucking face. Damn second rule in that book should be: "Trim that shit". Holden: I mean, I don't think I'm alone in the world in imagining this flick may be the worst idea since Greedo shooting first. An abortion clinic worker with a special heritage is called upon to save the existence of humanity from being negated by two renegade angels trying to exploit a loop-hole and reenter Heaven. See? Oh, you're the executive producer. "-influenced bike scene, (6) Bob stepping out of a room with a goofy grin on his face while Jay tokes up, and finally ends with (7) a hilarious blooper where Jay offers Suzanne the orangutan a hit off a joint. No, it always comes back to that fucking pie! Steve-Dave Pulasti: Unless you show up at all their houses and beat the shit out of them. Last 3 plays: kylemartins99 . Protestants usually acknowledge that Mary was a virgin only until after Jesus' birth. Jay: Alright. . That was them, wasn't it? Hey! Brent: Okay, here's the deal. Something nice. ^ Will Ferrell would later star in the 2009 film adaptation of Land of the Lost as Dr. Rick Marshall alongside Danny McBride as Will Stanton and Anna Friel as Holly Cantrell. Doesn't anyone watch the WB? Oh my god, he just called Sissy 'Juggs'. [takes Jay and Silent Bob behind a wall, out of sight]. Jay : What buzz? Additional Extra Features Also on disc two are trailers, stills galleries, music videos, and cast and crew filmographies. Prices on FYE.com do not reflect pricing in FYE retail stores. You know, after about five movies, I'm starting to realize that. Ben Affleck: Mua-ha-ha-ha! Stopping the flick isn't gonna stop that! It's really a fucking drag. Now they may be titled to sound like the best kick . Get that shit the fuck out of here. Metatron: God? Just to put you off some more, Kevin Smith introduces each clip with rambling ill-prepared thoughts that typify a director who believes in the hype of a creation he should have moved on from years ago. [Chrissy breaks wind loudly in the diamond vault, causing the alarms to go off]. You mean the guys in that Prince movie? Jay and Silent Bob, with Justice and Willenholly, go across the street to enjoy the after party, featuring a performance from Morris Day and The Time. Jay: You should be. Hiding inside a diner, the pair dress Suzanne as a child and pretend to be a gay couple, with Suzanne as their kid. Gag Reel Kevin Smith returns with another introduction to yet more crap footage. I can't believe Judi Dench played me. Hey. Fuck them up their stupid asses. Whillenholly: Jay: Two years later, Ben Affleck starred in Daredevil, which had a cameo from Kevin Smith. Devil Jay: Oh my God. Tell 'em Steve-Dave. Oh you REALLY don't wanna help us. Dante: I wasn't even supposed to be here today!! It's either this or jail. We had a deal with you on the comics, remember? When it comes down to business, this is what I do. The movie seemed designed specifically for my warped sense of humor. Thank you again and enjoy the show. Don't you know fast food makes girls fart? Wow, there's a lot of love in the room. Something sweet, ya big goof. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back; Fanedit Type: Extended Edition. After an expedient exodus . Get the fuck off her. GHOULS, you fuckin' moron, not girls! And after the fall of man, these monkey fucks'll start wearing our clothes and rebuilding the world in their image. You know, those kids from Good Will Hunting? Now I gotta beat the shit out of those punch-sucker little bitches. This isn't fair! Jay: Then taste it. Then I want you to fuckin' flick my nuts while your friend spanks me off in the same Dixie cup that Silent Bob jizzed in. Ho Yay: Jay likes to constantly remind everyone within earshot that he likes the ladies, then he or Silent Bob says or does something suggesting that he is deep deep in the closet (Word of God says Jay is a closeted bisexual). Jay: - Niggaz With Puppets. You're like a child. Its the female orgasm that's the myth. Why can't Hollywood make a decent comic book movie? We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little, whiny bitches. A man in a kids character costume on a movie set gets shot by a cop in the chest and falls over. No, I'm in this because I LOOOVE animals, stupid? (failed) Jay slaps his face], [while trying to get comfortable at an unfamiliar gas station]. I miss dating a lesbian. Uh, three by my count, but close. Jay: You chug that ass cock, baby. [he kisses Justice's hand romantically; she smiles and moves to the front of the van. . You know, maybe one night me and Lunch Box are out we're mackin' some chick and shit, and she's, like, "Ooh, I want to suck youse guys' dicks off," and she's, like, "What your names?" Let's remember who talked who into doing this shit in the first place. [appears out of nowhere] Jay: A deleted scene has the duo watch a Daredevil movie being filmed. That's what I thought. No, Steve. And this is your finger, far away from the pulse, jammed straight up your ass. Silent Bob: [counting his money] "[18][19] In August 2001, Mike Schulz of River Cities' Reader wrote that, "for sheer laughs, both mindless and incredibly smart, nothing since 1997's Waiting for Guffman has even compared."[20]. We at View Askew respect the noble Platypus, and it is not our intention to slight these stupid creatures in any way. Jay: Brodie: Jay: Chaka: Talking me into Dogma was one thing, but this Ben Affleck: Instead of "Jay and Silent Bob Will Return In", it now reads, "Jay and Silent Bob have left the building."